


Stories Are Told By The Walls Until The Walls Come Tumbling Down

by Rhidee



Series: Fighting For A Better Today [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety disorder Lucrecia, Fantasy Ronald Mcdonald, Hearing impaired Magnus, OCD Taako, Other, it's mostly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13464639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhidee/pseuds/Rhidee
Summary: Lucretia loved adventurers more than she'd ever loved adventures.





	Stories Are Told By The Walls Until The Walls Come Tumbling Down

**Author's Note:**

> Believe it or not this isn't the only thing i'm working on. Stand by and hope to god that i finish my goddamn Aubrey / Lup fic because i need those lesbians man, i need that.  
> anyway this fic didnt want to flow easy but i managed so here ya go have fun

Ever since she was little, Lucretia loved to write.  She wasn't a brave adventurer, or a boy detective, or Lucretia, y'know, from TV?  But she loved the stories of such celebrities, of these extraordinary people she watched.  She always wanted to be like them.  But she was just herself, as you tend to be when you’re you, and she decided to find the stories she wanted.  So she went into interplanetary research.  Where better to find stories never heard, than planets never seen?

 

She would carry this quiet joy to seeing a story play out through many years of journeys, more than she’d expected.

 

Davenport was one of the first people who greeted her at her new place of work.  A bookkeeper was a much more serious job than you'd expect, especially in the job of new locations and undocumented living arrangements.  He told her of his passion for flying ships, his hope of finding life, of creating new colonies, and of making the best life for his family.  He wasn't married, he said, but he had little cousins who loved him more than sugar drops and ice cream, the two main loves of rambunctious children.  He wanted to have new adventures for them, new worlds for them to explore, and lots of new pets for the littlest. 

 

It was a prequel to a story if she'd ever heard one, one where his cousins ended up saving him from the planet he discovered, just in time for a happy ending.  

 

Lucretia was still young then.  She didn’t know that sometimes the best ending has the hardest in between.

 

-

 

Davenport had known she had generalized anxiety disorder.  It was one of the things required to be put on her documents.  She was frankly astonished it didn't prevent her from qualifying, but her therapist had noted her progress and believed testing her limits like this would show that she can do it, all while protected by her team.  She was optimistic.  

 

Until she wasn't.

 

When Davenport saw her, her journal was pushed aside to the floor, and Lucretia was pressed against the couch with a blanket over her.   He approached cautiously, calling out her name softly and seeing if she could respond.  

 

Lucretia peeked out, chewing her lips and looking a wreck.  Davenport took a breath, and started asking questions.  

 

Do you want me to stay?  A nod.

May I come closer?  Another nod.

Would you like to be hugged?  A firm shake of the head.

 

Davenport offered his hand, and Lucretia took it.

 

Would you like to listen to my music?  Lucretia thought this one over, then nodded soft.

 

Davenport gave her his fantasy mp3 player, his chill playlist on.  She put in the earbuds, and seemed to relax in a way he'd barely noted she'd been tensed.

 

They sat there, a while.  Just breathing, calming down.  Davenport thought about his cousin, Marcia, and how embarrassed they'd been the first time Davenport had walked in on an anxiety attack.

 

They would have a conversation, later.  A long one, about what's needed for an anxiety attack, what helps and what hurts, and how to communicate without stressing Lucretia more.  But for now they just sat, each growing a little closer to the other.  If there was some sort of system that awarded points for bonding, based on how much a nameless power enjoyed it, this would definitely gain quite a few.

 

-

 

Magnus showed up next.  Not that Lucretia knew his name was Magnus, at first.  He talked too loud for her, startling her and ramping up her anxiety.  He didn't seem like a mean guy, mostly just young, dumb, and full of you know.  A bit cocky, but mostly just at that stage where you don't think death can touch you.  Or, uh, get you rather.  Let's not use phrasing that may provoke a hypothetical reader to think of certain manifestations of mortality '''touching''' people.  

 

Anyway, Lucretia tried to avoid him as much as possible.  She knew she'd have to talk with him while on the

ship, but for now she wanted to stay as far away as possible.

 

It worked rather well, until he walked in on her in the communal kitchens.

 

"Oh hey!  Lucretia, isn't it?  I'm Magnus!  How are you?"  

 

She tensed, putting the box of Fantasy Smuckers Uncrustables and their mascot, Garr the Sandwich Magician, firmly back in the freezer.

 

Magnus looked perplexed, picking up on her body language but not understanding what was wrong.

 

"Are you, uh, okay?"  He asked, shifting from side to side.

 

It wasn't meant to be a threatening movement, Lucretia knew that, but to have a big guy moving back and forth over the exit was, not good.

 

Her breath quickened.

 

"It-It-It's just that you're a tad big and -" She blinked hard and tried to remember how words worked, "-loud."

 

"Oh!" Magnus said loudly, before cringing and saying much quieter, "Oh."

 

"Sorry." He whispered, moving to a chair to seem smaller, "It's my ears."

 

Lucretia relaxed a tad, moving so she could exit if she needed to.  She was confused, though.

 

"Your ears?"

 

"Y-! Yeah.  I'm a bit deaf, sorry."  

 

Understanding swept across Lucretia's face, as well as faint distress at how she must have been alienating this man.

 

"That's, that's okay.  It's just, uh, anxiety?"  She made vague gestures that she hoped magically conveyed the situation.  It worked.

 

"Oh, that's fine.  Um, I'll try to talk a bit quieter, but just in case I mess up-"  Magnus pulled a large pink bow of plot convenience out of his pocket and put it on his head.  

 

Lucretia giggled at the image of such a rough boy wearing such a soft boy bow. 

 

Magnus smiled broadly, and gestured to his stylish bow.

 

"Better?"

 

Lucretia nodded, feeling much more at ease.

 

"Is it, uh, okay if I hug you?  I feel bad, and I promise I give the best hugs."

 

He really, really did, and Lucretia was very pleased to have one.

 

-

Becoming friends with Magnus ended up being one of the most enjoyable things for Lucretia.  She pondered this, sitting nails painted with Magnus, her hair done up with a variety of small bows he owned. 

 

She smiled as he explained his passion for fashion, and how much he enjoyed pampering himself and others.

 

She listened sympathetically as he explained he originally started with the bows after his little sister, who was one year old, got frightened when he stood above her.  Now all she does is giggle and tug his sideburn bows.

 

She spoke, trusting but hesitant, of a little girl who watched more than she did, and of years of working to feel as if she could be something more.

 

And when Magnus, nails bright pink and sporting a fantasy Pokémon bow that was slowly falling into his eye, asked if he could give her a hug, she beamed and said yes.

 

-

Lup and Taako arrived next.  The Taaco twins reminder Lucretia of yappy dogs, but with more shady street ties.  They orbited each other like binary stars, dancing like MY Camelopardalis. That’s how she thought of them, being an astronomer and a poet, but honestly that’s a bit much.  Binary stars are two stars that orbit each other, and MY kerfuffle or whatever is two stars close enough to share some of themselves with each other. 

 

Cause stars are cool as fuck, dawg.

 

Lucretia wasn’t too stressed about them, as she quietly watched them interact with Davenport and Magnus.  Some nights while sketching her insomnia away she’d see one of them sneak into the kitchen and leave with food, notably stuff like canned beans and jerky.  She couldn’t tell them apart except in voice, as Lup talked like fantasy Guy Fieri, with a throatier almost screaming note, even when talking at normal volume. 

 

She didn’t usually interact with the twins in their late night runs.

 

But she did watch.  She noted that sometimes, one of them would go into the kitchen, presumably to get a glass of water, but the water didn’t stop until the other came in.  She noted they didn’t seem to eat the food, just kept it.  She wanted to say she didn’t understand why.  She did.

-

After her mistakes in handling Magnus, she wanted to get along better with the Taaco Twins.  So, she started leaving some stuff outside the door to their room.  Perfumes, clothes, jewelry cheap enough to be accepted.  Drawings she had made and was willing to part with.  They disappeared, but the twins never said anything.  
  


Until Taako did.

  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing.”  Taako said, anger dripping off his tone.

  
She flinched back from the basket she was leaving and glanced at Taako from down the hallway.

  
“You’re not going to get anything from us, stop trying to _buy_ _us_.”  His ears were pressed tight against his head as he stalked forward, heels tapping the floor like gunshots in the silence that had fallen.

  
“I’m- I’m not trying to get anything from the two of you.”

  
“ _Bullshit_.” Taako was venomous.  “Why the fuck else would you be giving us all this crap!”

  
Taako kicked the basket, sending shampoo flying into the wall.

  
“Just have to fatten us up a little, soften us down so you can use us however you want.  Huh?  Just a simple con?  It’s not going to work, we’re not your fucking _pets_ , bub.”

  
Lucretia stared for a second, heart pounding.  Her lungs filled with air and paused for a fraction of time that was nearly unnoticeable.

  
For that second, the future hung in the air.  Infinite choices to create infinite realities, only one where they’d carry on to save their world.  It’s funny what small moments can change the fate of the world.  In the space between breathes, Lucretia chose between a thousand possibilities, of cowering or running, of fighting or hurting, each decision changing the weave of fate beyond comprehension.

  
Lucretia had no clue.  So, she did what she felt she needed to do.  She followed the narrative.

  
Lucretia began to exhale.

  
Straightening up, she brought her teary eyes up to Taako’s and looked him dead in the eyes.

  
“No.  You’re not.”

  
Taako’s ears flicked and he stepped back, startled at the change of tone.

  
“I’m not trying to buy you, or soften you, or _use_ you.”  Lucretia said, stalking forward to poke Taako’s chest.

  
“I’m just.  I’m trying to be friends.”  She clenched her fists and looked away.

  
“But I can tell when I’m not wanted.”

  
She turned to leave and was stopped by a hand on her elbow.

  
Taako smiled apologetically, ears down as he put his hands up.

  
“Alright, alright, I can admit when I’m wrong.  Sorry.  Let’s try this again.”  Taako put the shampoos in the basket and held it out to Lucretia.

  
“Hi, I’m Taako.  Please stop giving us stuff, it makes us uncomfortable.”

  
She took the basket and stuck her hand out.

  
“Hi, I’m Lucretia.  I won’t give you or your sister anything else, but please don’t yell, it distresses me.”

  
They shook hands, and both moved back to give the other space.

  
They parted, after that, and it was super awkward, so let’s skip that.

  
-

  
After the confrontation with Taako, Lucretia saw a lot more of Lup.  She didn’t realize how little she was seeing her until she suddenly saw her everywhere.

  
Suddenly she was greeted with sock covered feet being put up on her at near all times.  A few times Lup had even levitated to angle her feet comfortably on Lucretia, which…. really.  Really?

 

Lucretia would be lying if she said she didn’t find it endearing.

 

-

 

Barry Bluejeans and Lucretia didn’t interact much.  Lucretia did however get to listen to Lup and Taako refer to him as “a hunk of meat who’d taste best wrapped up in a Taaco shell”.

 

It was a blessing and a curse.

 

-

 

Barry had some good book recommendations, and was good at debating the meaning of books and the quality of the ending.  If only because he was so often _wrong_.

 

-

 

The first time Taako and Lup brought her food was on a bad day.  She’d stayed inside her room drawing and trying to distract herself from the creeping feeling of worthlessness.  She knew she was good, was deserving of good things and a good life.  But sometimes it just… creeped.  Knowing something is wrong doesn’t help if it feels right.

 

They came in, not saying hello, Taako setting food down by her as Lup put a blanket around her shoulders.

 

“Don’t stress my dude, we’re here.”  Lup said, brushing her lips across Lucretia’s forehead in a gentle affection.

 

The twins sat down on the floor, lying about as if the ground was the most comfortable place to be.

 

“So,” Taako said, lying his legs on Lup’s shoulder.

 

“Who’s the most fuckable Fantasy Mcdonalds character?”

 

-

 

The answer was Mayor McCheese.

 

-

 

The next day Barry argued some very compelling, very wrong points about the bard Ronald Mcdonald himself. 

 

-

 

The Starblaster took off on a sunny day.  The Starblaster flew on many dark days. 

 

-

 

Alone all a lone Lucretia was all alone how could she be alone how could they leave her please come back please

 

I’ll be good…

 

-

 

They came back.  It kept going.  She kept going.

 

She learned that sometimes there is no choice but to press down your feelings and do what needs to be done.

 

It’s not a healthy lesson to learn, but its taught unfortunately often.

 

-

 

Barry loved Lup like the day loves the night.  They followed each other and helped all they passed.

 

-

 

The Starblaster landed on an afternoon.

 

Lup disappeared in the space between night and day.

 

Barry disappeared in the space between clouds.

 

Their memories disappeared in the space between words.

 

-

 

Lucretia is bathed in the light of Fisher’s tank.  She turns as Magnus enters, her journal falling apart behind her.

 

“God, Magnus, no! You weren’t supposed to see this I’m so sorry Magnus.”

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I love you Magnus I love all of you I’m so sorry.”

 

-

 

What’s left of a man when the man is gone?  Only memories and stories of his life will carry on.

 

-

 

Lucretia set the pieces on the board, with a sky alight with a thousand possibilities above her.

 

-

 

She was finally the narrator of this story.  Finally, it was my time to shine.  I made the Perfect endings for my friends, I thought so hard about what would be just right for them.  For Merle, a beach, a place to relax and enjoy all life had to offer.  For Magnus, Raven’s Roost, a perfect place for him to hatch (if you’ll excuse the pun) his career as a carpenter.  For Taako, well, everywhere was best for him.  He’d finally get the acclaim he never felt he deserved in the past.  I was saddened by the loss of Barry and Lup, but I felt as if I could still carry on in their honor.  And maybe, along the way, make up to Davenport for what I had done to him.  I had a lot of work to do, and I could do it.

 

-

 

I had mixed feelings.  But I had no choice on what I had to do, and no option to rest.  The world didn’t need me to be scared in my room.  The world needed me to fix it.

 

Only I could do this.  I didn’t need anyone else.

 

-

 

I got better.  My anxiety became more manageable, almost unnoticed as I ran the B.o.B. everyday.  It didn’t go away.  Things like that don’t magically disappear, and they don’t need to.  Because people are strong.  No matter how long it takes, it’s never too late to be better.  I’m happy, for a time.  Reassured in the knowledge that my friends, though missing their memories, were safe and living the perfect ending that had been stolen from them in their flight from their home planet.

 

-

 

Twelve years is a long time to be alone.  Lucretia bottled up a Molotov cocktail of bad feelings.

 

-

 

When I looked one day, first in a month, to see my friend’s happy faces in their perfect endings, the ones I had made just for them…it had all gone horribly, horribly wrong.

 

Lucretia got worse.  Because recovery isn’t linear, so that’s okay.  But also because she thought she could control the cogs of an entire world, which is decidedly not okay.  She never needed to reach for that much power, and it became her undoing.

 

-

 

The B.o.B.’s staff grew by three.

 

-

 

We know this part of the story well.  I’m not here to tell you what you already know.  I simply request you take a moment to think of the emotion hidden behind Lucretia’s eyes in every moment you recall.  A boy detective wasn’t the first to love them.  He wasn’t the last either.

 

-

 

When the story was broadcasted, a thousand hearts reached out with care towards a small ragtag group of adventurers who had bit off more than they could chew and then decided to smush their cheeks to try to chew anyway.

 

The ones we know best reached out with care to hug their friends, bonds not restored yet, but hearts full of the potential for loving once more.

 

-

 

It was tense, when everything had calmed.  Not unbearably so, but the silent figure of the mistakes Lucretia’d made seemed to creep behind her.  Merle did his best to support her.

 

-

 

Her conversation with Davenport was quite possibly the most heartbreaking moment of her life.

 

But she did it, and a bone that healed wrong broke, and then could heal better.

 

-

 

Magnus’ smile was big, and unbearably empty of affection.

 

-

 

Taako and Lup were unforgiving.  Their orbit was restored, but jolty.  They scrapped where before they slide, slipped where before they skated.  They had been apart much too long.

 

Bit by bit they forgave her.  Quiet nights avoiding each other’s eyes.  Lup comforting Taako, while Lucretia sneaks out the door.  Memories blurred in the morning, but emotions still as strong.

 

It was ultimately Angus who helped.  Lucretia cared for the boy detective, who had been so small but did actions so big.  He lead her into the library one day, into where the twins were engaged in an argument. 

 

She went to leave, but Angus held her hand and pointed at them with determination.

 

Lucretia sighed and went to stand before the Taaco twins, who fell silent at her arrival.

 

She took a deep breath.

 

“Grimace is the most fuckable fantasy McDonalds character.”

 

Lup beamed, and Taako’s face twisted in exaggerated horror.

 

They’d be okay.

 

-

 

Lucretia got Magnus some blueleaf wood. 

 

He smiled, thankful.

 

The next week a small, jellyfish like carving was found glowing in the living room.

 

The day after Magnus handed her a journal, pages full of potential.

 

She smiled, and looked forward to writing a new future.

 

-

 

And so she did.

 

-

 

Or she tried to, between explaining why B.o.B. money can’t be used for a Ronald McDonald body pillow, or a jean suit (juit), or a hang glider.

 

Lucretia was truly, insanely happy.

 

And her story wasn’t done yet.

 

She picked up a pen, smiling wide.

 

And began a new chapter of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment the most fuckable mcdonalds character below (there's a correct answer and if anyone gets it i'll write you a very small fic about a subject you chose)


End file.
